Christmas activities for couples: a December of things to do together, week by week

Start with the calendar, not the ideas

The most common reason couples miss out on festive time together is not a lack of ideas. It is that the calendar fills up before they have claimed any of it. So before you read the activities below, do this together for ten minutes:

1. Write down the fixed things. Work parties, family visits, travel days, school events. Put them on one page.
2. Mark the gaps. Find at least four slots of two or more hours when nothing is planned. Weekends and weekday evenings both count.
3. Claim them. Put your initials or a heart in each. These are yours. If something else tries to take them, you discuss it first.
4. Match one activity to each slot. Use the sections below. Keep one empty slot for rest.

That is the whole secret. The rest is choosing things you enjoy.

An advent for two

An advent calendar for a couple is one of the nicest ways to carry the season through the month. The idea is simple: a small thing to open each day, from the first of December until Christmas Eve. It can be shared, or you can make one for each other.

How to build one

• Choose a container. Envelopes pinned to a string, small paper bags, a box with compartments, or a list in a notebook. Number them.
• Mix three kinds of content. Words (a note, a memory, a compliment), actions (a ten-minute walk, a hot chocolate, a hug) and treats (a sweet, a tea bag, a small token).
• Keep it cheap and specific. The best ones are the ones with a story: "Remember this tune? Let us dance to it tonight."
• Mark a few days as bigger. Four or five days in December are meant for an hour-long activity, such as baking or a film. Choose these days to match your calendar.

Twenty-four ideas for the slips

• A memory from the past year, written in a sentence.
• "Tonight we dance in the kitchen to one song."
• A voucher: one back rub, no questions asked.
• "Tell me three things you are grateful for this year."
• "Hot chocolate with the lights off."
• A photo of the two of you, printed and attached.
• "Today you choose the film."
• "Write down one wish for next year and tuck it away."
• A short walk to look at the lights in your area.
• "I will cook tonight. You do nothing."
• A compliment you have never said out loud.
• "Phone-free dinner."
• A card to send to someone you both like.
• "Make a snowflake, or a paper star, together."
• "Call someone you have not spoken to in a while."
• A song to add to your shared playlist.
• "Tonight we eat dessert first."
• A recipe to try this month.
• "Sit in the dark with just the tree lights for ten minutes."
• "Tell me about a Christmas you remember."
• A coupon for a lie-in.
• "Write a message to us, to read next December."
• A small walk after dinner on the 23rd.
• On the 24th: a letter. Say what the year meant.

If you want to go further with written words, our open when letters and love notes are good companions for an advent.

Handmade projects

Making things together slows you down in a good way. It also leaves you with objects that will remind you of the season for years.

• Make decorations. Paper stars, a wreath from branches and ribbon, salt-dough ornaments, strings of dried orange slices. Pick one and do it over an evening.
• Write and illustrate a family card. Draw a small scene together and photograph or copy it for your cards.
• Make a ritual for the tree. Choose one new ornament each year, with the date on the back. After a few years you will have a record.
• Wrap gifts together. Put on music, spread out on the floor, and make it an event. A shared wrapping session turns a chore into a small party.
• Create a photo calendar for next year. Choose twelve photos from this year, one for each month, and print or draw it.
• Make a scrapbook of the year. Tickets, notes, photos and a few lines about each month.
• Craft a gift for someone else. Jam, candles, biscuits, a framed drawing. It is more satisfying when you do it as a team.

Baking and cooking

Food is the centre of many festive traditions, and cooking together is one of the easiest activities to make special.

• A baking day. Pick two or three recipes and bake in bulk: biscuits, a loaf, a tray of something sweet. Package some as gifts.
• Decorate biscuits. Make the dough one evening and decorate the next. Give each other a theme.
• Try a recipe from each other's childhood. Ask your partner what they ate at Christmas growing up, and make it. Ask them to teach you.
• A "mystery menu" dinner. One of you picks and cooks a three-course dinner without telling the other what it is.
• Mulled drinks, with and without alcohol. Simmer spices, fruit and juice on the stove. Make the house smell like December.
• A pre-Christmas brunch. A slow weekend breakfast with something special: warm bread, good jam, a hot drink.
• Cook a double batch and share. One for you and one for a neighbour or a friend.

Follow trusted recipes and food safety guidance, especially for preserved items and anything you give as a gift. For more evening ideas at home, see date night ideas at home.

Outdoor activities in the cold

Going outside in December can be a challenge, but it often pays off. The air is crisp, the town is lit and the sense of the season is stronger than it is from the sofa.

• Walk to see the lights. Choose an area where people decorate or a central street, and bring a hot drink. Make it a loop so you return home with a reason to warm up.
• Visit a Christmas market, if there is one near you. Wander without a plan, share a snack and choose one thing to buy for each other, under a small limit you agree on.
• Go for a winter walk in a park or woods. Pick a daytime window, wear layers and bring a thermos. Check the weather and the route first.
• Ice skating or sledging, if you have snow or a rink nearby. Falling over together is bonding, and a safe, shallow start is plenty.
• Choose a real tree. If you buy one, make the trip a ritual: take a flask, choose together and carry it home.
• Take a photo in the same place each year. A bridge, a tree, a street corner. In ten years you will have a record.

For more cold-weather ideas, our winter date ideas are a good source.

Cosy indoor activities

• Light the tree and sit with only its light. No screens, no talking required at first. Ten minutes in, you will be talking anyway.
• A festive film marathon. Choose three films and a snack for each. Rank them afterwards.
• Read aloud. A short seasonal story, a poem or a chapter of a book. Take turns.
• Play a long game. A board game, a card game or a puzzle that stays on the table all month.
• Make a playlist together. Build a December soundtrack with a song from each year of your relationship.
• Write cards. Sit side by side with a stack of cards, a pen each and a hot drink. Add a personal line to each.
• Have a "gift preview" night. Show each other the thing you are most proud of having found or made, without giving it away.

Giving back

December is a season of giving, and doing something for others together can bring a calm sense of purpose that shopping rarely does.

• Donate food or clothing. Go through your cupboards and wardrobes, choose items, and deliver them together. Check with the organisation first about what they need.
• Volunteer for a shift. Many charities need extra hands in December. Contact them early because places can fill up.
• Cook or bake for a neighbour. Especially someone who lives alone.
• Write a card for someone who might be lonely. An elderly neighbour, a relative who lives far away.
• Choose a cause together. Decide on an amount you can afford, and decide together where it goes.
• Offer help. Carry shopping, shovel a path, give a lift. Small things count.

Activities for when family takes over the calendar

Many couples spend most of December with other people. You can still make room for each other.

• Take a ten-minute walk together after a family meal. It gives you a break and a moment to compare notes.
• Agree on a code word. A word that means "I need a minute" or "can we leave in half an hour?" without explanation.
• Debrief at the end of each day. Two minutes in bed: one thing that was good, one thing that was hard.
• Keep one small ritual alive. A morning tea, a good-night kiss, a shared look when someone tells the same story for the third time.
• Plan a "just us" day after the holidays. Book a date in the first days of January and look forward to it.

Balancing time between two families is a common source of tension. Talk about it early, not at the last minute. See how to set boundaries in a relationship if you need help with that conversation.

Christmas activities for long-distance couples

If you are apart for part or all of December, the activities do not have to disappear. They just change shape.

• Make the same recipe on a video call. Cook at the same time and eat together.
• Open an advent calendar together on a call. One window a day, via text or voice.
• Watch a film in sync. Start it at the same minute and keep a chat open.
• Send a box. A few small gifts, a handwritten letter, a decoration for their tree.
• Decorate at the same time. Each puts up the tree or the lights and shows the other.
• Plan the reunion. Write down what you will do on the first day together.

More ideas can be found in our long-distance date ideas, long-distance couple app activities and gifts for a long-distance boyfriend.

Your first Christmas as a couple

The first Christmas together has a special weight. You are working out which traditions belong to whom, and what you want to create from scratch. Instead of trying to do everything, decide on a few things.

• Ask each other: what is one tradition you absolutely want to keep? What is one you could let go of?
• Pick one new ritual that is just yours, such as a particular drink, a walk or a film.
• Buy or make one ornament that represents the year.
• Write a letter to each other to open on the next Christmas.
• Take a photo on the first day of December and one on the last.

Keep the expectations kind. It is okay if something goes wrong. The burnt biscuits are what you will talk about in ten years.

A week-by-week December plan

If you like to have a framework, use this one. It assumes four evenings or afternoons are free across the month. Change what you need.

Week 1: Set up

Do the calendar exercise. Build the advent for two. Put up some decorations. Choose a playlist.

Week 2: Make

Craft a decoration or a handmade gift. Bake one batch of something. Write the cards.

Week 3: Go out

Walk to see the lights, visit a market or go skating. Take the yearly photo in the same place.

Week 4: Give and rest

Deliver something to a neighbour or a charity. Wrap gifts together. Then an unhurried evening with only the tree lights on. On Christmas Eve or the last quiet evening, read the letters you wrote each other.

Common mistakes

• Trying to do everything. You cannot do all of this. Choose four or five and enjoy them.
• Leaving it all to one person. If one of you carries the whole festive load, resentment will arrive before the holiday does. Divide it deliberately.
• Letting money set the mood. A cheap activity done with attention beats an expensive one done in a rush.
• Copying someone else's Christmas. Your version can be a quiet evening and a burnt biscuit.
• Ignoring that December can be hard for one of you. Loss, loneliness, family tension and exhaustion are common. Ask how your partner is, and make room for the answer. If it is heavy for you, speak to someone you trust.
• Forgetting to rest. A festive season with no rest is just another list of tasks.

Where Buffaly fits

December is full, and small moments between you are the first things to be squeezed out. Buffaly is an iPhone app for couples who are already together. You connect with a 4-character code and share one heart. Compliment, Hug and Kiss each add 15 percentage points, a Conversation adds 25 and a Date adds 80. The heart slowly empties, so it shows when you last made time for each other and nudges you to top it up. A shared bake or a lights walk is worth a Date (80 points) or a Conversation (25), and a Hug or Compliment on the busiest day keeps the heart from emptying completely. Buffaly does not plan your festive season or suggest activities. It is meant to make small moments easier to remember, and it will not make a relationship good by itself.

What Buffaly is not: it is not a quiz or content app, not a messaging app, and it does not share your location. It is an entertainment tool, not a medical, psychological or counselling service. The download is free. Using Buffaly needs a subscription, and one subscription covers both partners; the price is shown in the App Store in your own currency before you subscribe. It needs an iPhone with iOS 17 or later; there is no Android version yet.

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