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Long distance date ideas: 25 ways to feel close from far away
A long-distance date has one job: to make a shared hour feel like a shared hour, even when you are in different places. These 25 ideas are low-cost and low-prep, sorted by type, with tips for time zones and for the evenings when you are both tired. If you are comparing tools, see our comparison of apps for long-distance couples.
Make long-distance dates work
- Schedule them. A date in the calendar beats "we should call sometime". Even one fixed evening a week helps.
- Handle time zones kindly. Pick a time that is not the end of someone's exhausting day, and swap who adjusts.
- Keep it short when you are tired. Thirty good minutes beat two forced hours.
- Dress up a bit. A small effort makes it feel like a date, not a status call.
- Put the phones down. Be on the call, not scrolling next to it.
This advice comes from our own experience of writing about relationships, not from research.
Video call dates
- Cook the same recipe and eat together on camera.
- Order each other's favourite takeaway to your own door, if delivery works for you both.
- Watch a film in sync. Start it at the same second and chat or keep the call muted.
- Do a virtual cafe date with coffee and no agenda.
- Play an online game you can both access, or a simple pen-and-paper one such as 20 questions.
- Take a walking date. Each of you goes outside and shares what you see.
- Cook breakfast together if your time zones allow it.
Talking dates
- Ask each other new questions. Our list of questions to ask your partner gives you 40 to start with.
- Plan a future trip together: where, what you would do, what you would eat.
- Tell the story of your first meeting from each point of view.
- Do a short check-in. Use a few of our relationship check-in questions to see how you both are.
- Share a compliment each. Specific is better, and our compliment ideas can help.
- Read aloud a chapter, a poem or old messages.
Shared activities
- Work on a puzzle on a shared screen or a jigsaw website.
- Make a shared playlist and add three songs each, with a sentence about why.
- Do a quiz night with a few friends, or just the two of you.
- Try a workout or stretch at the same time.
- Draw each other from the call and compare the results.
- Start a shared photo album of small things you see each day.
Surprises and small gestures
- Send a handwritten letter or a postcard that arrives on an ordinary Tuesday.
- Order a small gift to arrive during the call.
- Leave voice notes for the morning or the commute.
- Plan a countdown to the next visit, with one small task each day.
- Put together a "open when" box with notes for moments such as a bad day or a birthday.
- Plan the visit itself in detail, so you both have something to look forward to. For ideas on what to do when you finally meet, see things to do with your partner.
Same-room ideas for when you are together
When you do get time in person, protect part of it for ordinary things, not only big plans. Our date night ideas at home work well for visits, and many can be done with a long-distance twist.
Common mistakes with long-distance dates
- Making every call a "date", so none of them feel special.
- Planning something big each time, and burning out.
- Skipping dates when there is nothing to report. Quiet evenings still count.
- Using the call to settle old arguments. Give hard topics their own slot.
- Comparing your relationship to couples who live nearby.
Where Buffaly fits
Buffaly is an iPhone app for couples who are already together. You connect with a 4-character code and share one heart. Hug, Kiss and Compliment each add 15 percentage points, a Conversation adds 25, a Date adds 80. The heart slowly empties, so it helps you keep topping up closeness instead of waiting for a big moment. For couples who live apart, Call, Conversation, Compliment and Little Surprise work from anywhere. It is not a video-call or chat tool, so you will still use your usual apps for the date itself. See the long-distance app comparison for how it differs from other apps.
What Buffaly is not: it is not a quiz or content app, not a messaging app, and it does not share your location. It is an entertainment tool, not a medical, psychological or counselling service. The download is free and your first action is free. Then there is a 7-day free trial, then EUR 4.99 per month or EUR 29.99 per year for both partners. It needs an iPhone with iOS 17 or later; there is no Android version yet.
Frequently asked questions
What are good long distance date ideas?
Cook the same meal over video, watch a film in sync, play an online game, take a walking call, ask each other new questions or send a surprise to arrive during the call.
How often should long-distance couples have a date?
There is no rule. Many couples like one fixed evening a week, plus shorter daily contact. Choose what you can keep up without it feeling like a chore.
How do you do a date night when you are in different time zones?
Pick a time that is not the end of an exhausting day for either of you, swap who adjusts, and keep it short when you are tired. A morning-and-evening pairing sometimes works.
What if we run out of things to talk about?
Use a list of questions, plan a trip together or do a shared activity such as a film or a game, so the conversation does not have to carry the whole date.
Can an app help with long distance dates?
It can remind you to make small moments happen. It will not replace the call itself. Buffaly is an iPhone app with a shared heart and works with your normal call app. It is an entertainment tool, not a counselling service.