Couples bucket list: 40 ideas to do together, and how to build your own

How to build your own list

1. Write separately first. Each of you lists 10 things for ten minutes, without comparing.
2. Merge and sort. Mark what both of you wrote, and what only one wrote and the other is curious about.
3. Add a mix. Include free, cheap, tiny and big items, so something is always possible.
4. Set a rhythm. One item a month is plenty. Put the next one in the calendar.
5. Keep it kind. Veto without judgement, and swap the item for something close.

Small items are not a lesser list. They are what makes a bucket list actually get used.

Tiny and at-home (under an hour)

1. Watch the sunrise or sunset together.
2. Cook a dish from a country neither of you has visited.
3. Build a blanket fort and watch a film in it.
4. Write a letter to your future selves and seal it.
5. Make a playlist of your relationship so far.
6. Take a photo of each other once a month for a year.
7. Learn a short dance routine from a video.
8. Do a blind taste test of snacks. See also our date night ideas at home.

Learn something together

1. Take a cooking, pottery or dance class.
2. Learn the basics of a language you both want to try.
3. Take up a beginner sport together.
4. Learn to play a simple song on an instrument.
5. Start a garden, even a window sill.
6. Read the same book and talk about it.
7. Visit a museum and pick one favourite each.
8. Learn first aid, a useful skill for two.

Adventures and travel

1. Take a day trip to a town you have never visited.
2. Camp for a night, even in a back garden.
3. Go on a long hike and pick a view you will remember.
4. Take a road trip with no fixed plan.
5. Visit a place from your first date.
6. Try a new kind of transport, such as a night train or a ferry.
7. Pick one city for a weekend and plan it together.
8. Plan a big trip you could do in a year, and start saving for it.

For more activity ideas by mood, see our list of things to do with your partner. If you live in different places, long distance date ideas has versions that work apart.

Create and keep memories

1. Start a shared photo album or a scrapbook.
2. Make a time capsule with small items and notes.
3. Record a short interview with each other and keep it.
4. Recreate a favourite photo from earlier in your relationship.
5. Create a map with places that matter to you both.
6. Write down your favourite memories of the year.
7. Plant something that will grow as long as the relationship.
8. Choose a small yearly tradition, and keep it.

Give back and look ahead

1. Volunteer for an afternoon together.
2. Cook for a friend or neighbour who could use it.
3. Donate things you no longer use.
4. Do a clean-up in a park or on a beach.
5. Write each other three goals for the next year.
6. Plan a money goal for something you both want.
7. Have the "what do we want in five years" conversation, using our questions to ask your partner.
8. Decide on one thing you will do for each other's dream.

Make it actually happen

• Put the list somewhere you both see it.
• Pick the next item before you finish the current one.
• Choose a date, not just an idea.
• Cross things off and enjoy it. Each item done is a small win to celebrate, not to compare.
• Start the list with one item you can do this week.

Doing new things together is a nice way to make closeness a habit. If you want more ways to show love in daily life, read how to make your partner feel loved.

Where Buffaly fits

Buffaly is an iPhone app for couples who are already together. You connect with a 4-character code and share one heart. Hug, Kiss and Compliment each add 15 percentage points, a Conversation adds 25, a Date adds 80. The heart slowly empties, so it helps you keep topping up closeness instead of waiting for a big moment. When you do a bucket-list item together, you can log it as a Date, which adds the most to the heart. It is not a list-keeping app, so you will keep the list itself in your notes app or on paper.

What Buffaly is not: it is not a quiz or content app, not a messaging app, and it does not share your location. It is an entertainment tool, not a medical, psychological or counselling service. The download is free and your first action is free. Then there is a 7-day free trial, then EUR 4.99 per month or EUR 29.99 per year for both partners. It needs an iPhone with iOS 17 or later; there is no Android version yet.

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