Things to do when bored at home: 40 ideas for couples, by how much energy you have

First: what kind of bored are you?

Boredom is not one thing, and the right fix depends on the type. Take thirty seconds to name yours.

• Tired bored. You have energy for nothing, but you also do not want to waste the evening. Look at the low-energy section.
• Restless bored. You have energy and nowhere to put it. Go to the active section.
• Lonely-together bored. You are physically together but feel disconnected. Go to the connection section and skip anything that involves a screen.
• Stuck bored. Nothing is wrong, nothing is new. The ideas for breaking a routine are for you.

It also helps to ask your partner which type they are. One of you may be restless while the other is tired, and then the plan is a trade: one hour of each.

Low energy: things to do on the sofa

You do not have to be active to feel better. The goal here is to swap passive screen time for something you do together.

• Watch something you would never choose. Take turns picking the first ten minutes of a film or show from a category the other likes. You do not have to finish it.
• Read aloud. Choose a short story, an article or a chapter and take turns with a page each. It sounds old-fashioned, and it works.
• Play a card or paper game. Cards, noughts and crosses, hangman, a word chain, "twenty questions". They need nothing but attention.
• Look at your old photos. Start at the oldest picture on your phones and scroll forward together. Tell the story of each one.
• Make a "someday" list. Places you want to visit, things you want to learn, a home you would like. Write it as a shared note and add a rough date to each one.
• Plan an imaginary trip. Pick a destination, a budget of unlimited money and a week. Plan the route, the food and the hotel in detail. The planning is the entertainment.
• Do a puzzle. Jigsaw, crossword or sudoku. It gives your hands something to do while you talk.
• Take turns giving a head or foot massage. Set a timer for ten minutes each way.

Medium energy: things to do around the flat

You can get up from the sofa but you do not want to leave the house. These ideas turn the home into the activity.

• Cook something new together. Pick a recipe neither of you has made, from a cuisine you rarely eat. Share the jobs: one chops, one stirs. Expect it to go slightly wrong.
• Bake something. Bread, biscuits or a cake. Baking has built-in waiting time, which is good for talking.
• Rearrange a room. Move the furniture, change the layout of a shelf, or swap the pictures on a wall. A small change can make a place feel new.
• Clear one drawer or shelf each. Set a timer for thirty minutes, sort, bin and donate. Finish with something nice to drink.
• Sort and print photos. Pick twenty from the last year, order prints later or arrange them on a wall or in a book.
• Karaoke. Free lyric videos exist for most songs. Choose the duets that you know the worst.
• Try a language. Learn ten phrases in the language of a place you might visit. Test each other over dinner.
• Make a playlist for your year. One song per month, with a sentence about why.
• A craft evening. Draw, paint, knit, build or write. Choose the same project, such as a portrait of each other, and compare the results.
• Plant something. A herb pot on the windowsill gives you something to look after together.

High energy: things to do when you are restless

Sometimes boredom is energy with nowhere to go. Spend it together, indoors, with the sofa pushed to the side.

• Dance workout or yoga video. Follow a free video together. Laughing at your own balance counts as a cool-down.
• A home challenge. Set up a mini competition: balloon volleyball, a paper-ball basketball hoop, a plank contest, a staring contest. The loser does the washing up.
• Scavenger hunt. One of you hides ten small objects, writes clues and the other finds them. Swap and play again.
• Active games. Charades, Pictionary with scrap paper, "the floor is lava" with cushions.
• Deep clean to music. Put on a playlist and do a room each. When the music ends, the cleaning ends.
• Dress-up night. Put together outfits from your wardrobe in a theme, such as the eighties, a film, or a fancy dinner, and take photos.
• Treasure hunt outside. Even if you do not want to go far, a walk around the block with a list (a red door, a cat, a blue car) turns an ordinary stroll into a game.
• Move the evening outdoors. If you have a balcony, garden or roof, take a blanket and a drink out there. A different place can reset a flat mood.

When you are bored together and feel disconnected

This is a different problem. You are not short of ideas; you are short of attention for each other. A few options that put your partner back at the centre:

• Ask one real question. Not "how was your day", but "what is something that surprised you this week?" Our questions to ask your partner and relationship check-in questions have long lists.
• Tell a story they have not heard. A memory from school, a job, a holiday. Most people have far more stories their partner does not know than they think.
• Run a question bowl. Write ten questions on pieces of paper, pull them from a bowl and answer in turns.
• Say three things you appreciate. Do it face to face, no phones. It will feel awkward for a minute and then feel good. For wording ideas see compliments for your partner.
• Sit together without screens for fifteen minutes. Put on music, share a drink, say nothing if you have nothing to say.

If a feeling of distance keeps coming back, it may not be boredom at all. Read feeling neglected in a relationship and how to reconnect with your partner.

Quick fixes: ten minutes or less

If you only want to break the mood and not plan an evening:

• Put on a song you both love and play it loud.
• Challenge each other to a ten-minute drawing contest.
• Pick a random word and each write a one-line story with it.
• Make a hot drink for the other person without being asked.
• Go outside for a ten-minute walk, even in the dark.
• Look through one old photo folder and pick the best photo.
• Text a compliment to the person next to you.
• Rank your top five films, songs or meals and compare.

How to break a routine that keeps leading to boredom

If every weekend ends with the same sofa and the same show, the answer is not one more idea. It is a small system.

1. Keep a "boredom jar". Write 20 ideas on slips of paper, from this page or your own. When the mood hits, pull one out and agree to try it for at least twenty minutes.
2. Set a screen limit for one evening a week. A fixed "no screens after dinner" evening makes the other options visible.
3. Alternate who chooses. It stops one person from always being the entertainer.
4. Plan something to look forward to. A date on the calendar changes how a flat week feels. Our things to do with your partner and date night ideas have options for the weekend.
5. Get out once a week. Even a short walk resets the feeling that the walls are getting closer.

When the weather is the problem

A lot of boredom at home happens because it is cold, dark or raining. Do not fight it, plan for it. Our rainy day date ideas cover wet weather, and winter date ideas are useful for the dark months. Treating the weather as part of the plan, with blankets, candles and warm food, makes staying in feel like a choice and not a trap.

Mistakes to avoid

• Saying "I am bored" as a complaint. Try "I would like to do something with you tonight, can we pick one?" It invites a plan instead of defence.
• Waiting for the other to fix it. If you are bored, you can also suggest something.
• Vetoing every idea. Agree that you must try at least one of the first three.
• Scrolling "just for a minute". Put phones in another room for the first half hour.
• Treating boredom as a sign something is wrong. Usually it is a sign you are comfortable. It becomes a problem only if it is the main thing you share.

Where Buffaly fits

Boredom at home often means the two of you have slipped into autopilot, and autopilot is hard to notice from the inside. Buffaly gives you a heart you share, and the heart slowly empties. When it is low, that is a prompt to do one of the ideas above rather than reach for another show. Logging a Conversation adds 25 percentage points and a Date adds 80, so even a quiet hour of talking at home counts.

Buffaly is an iPhone app for couples who are already together. You connect with a 4-character code and share one heart. Compliment, Hug and Kiss each add 15 percentage points, a Conversation adds 25 and a Date adds 80. The heart slowly empties, so it shows when you last made time for each other. It will not make a relationship good by itself.

What Buffaly is not: it is not a quiz or content app, not a messaging app, and it does not share your location. It is an entertainment tool, not a medical, psychological or counselling service. The download is free. Using Buffaly needs a subscription, and one subscription covers both partners; the price is shown in the App Store in your own currency before you subscribe. It needs an iPhone with iOS 17 or later; there is no Android version yet.

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